The idea of this page is to allow anyone whether
you knew Teegs or not, an avenue to vent your emotions and feelings,
as well as to help keep Teegs memory and this website alive.
Your contributions can be funny, serious, positive, negative, inspirational
etc and can be in the form of a letter, email, txt message or whatever
you like. You could write to anybody or anything like 'Time', 'Teegs',
'Grief', 'Hope', 'God', 'Depression', 'Chelsea', 'Frustration',
'Love', 'Loneliness', 'Tears', 'Happiness', 'Anger' and so on.
The ideas and possibilities are only limited by your imagination.
Please send any contribution via the Contact
page or to Chris’s email address cblunt@homemail.com.au. (please
indicate if you wish to be anonymous)
8/6/10
Dear Grief
You crept into my soul the night Tegan died; along with all
of your companions Shock, Denial, Anger, Sadness and various
others. I saw you attack my family in the worst possible way,
it just wasn't fair.
One word - Grief, such a small word yet an immensely powerful
one. You change lives forever sometimes destroying them completely.
For me the worst part of you is Sadness and Depression.
In the first twelve months I was bursting into tears no matter
what I was doing or where I was. So many times I had to run
out of places because I had burst into tears and didn't want
anybody to see. I still cry today, it comes in bursts, usually
when I am listening to music or I am thinking about Tegan.
The Depression set in after a while; I knew why I was feeling
depression but found it hard to express how I felt until a
psychologist took me aside and helped me to see it was part
of you.
I doubt you will ever leave me, I don't even know if I want
you to leave, I want to scream at the world at times. I want
everybody to be safe; I constantly worry when my teenager
isn't in my sight. I become anxious if she isn't home when
she says she will be. Somehow my mind believes that if I constantly
worry it will keep her safe and she will return home safely.
This is all part of you... Grief; Hell on earth.
People say that you become better with time but you appear
to get worse, Two years on and it is still raw, sometimes
you feel stronger and Anger makes an appearance. I feel angry
because I can't bring Tegan back or make things right for
Chris and his family. I feel sad because my daughters were
meant to grow up with Tegan and share their experiences. Tegan
was the leader of their group and nobody can fill her shoes.
You are so hard to write about because you involve so many
emotions, all of which are isolating. You live inside me now
but I won't let you break me because Tegan would not want
that. She is so much stronger than you, in time the memories
I have of her will mellow you; but for now you are hell.
So many people loved Tegan; you now walk with all who loved
her.
Lynda
23/5/10
Dear Time,
You are supposed to be the great healer of all wounds.
I contacted you on the 8th June 2008 in the hope that you
could help me.
You see it's like this... On that day, my heart broke and
now at times I struggle to cope. Some days are harder to
get through than others and I am longing for the day when
fond memories will bring smiles instead of tears.
Some days I get asked "Is time helping?" I would
like to answer that you are indeed the great healer of all
wounds but my current thinking is that your ability to help
is a myth and rather than being a helper you are actually
an enemy. Why else would my pain be intensifying and not
diminishing I ask?
To restore my faith in your healing power can you provide
me with a little bit of evidence? Perhaps for example Time
you can start the scarring process of my deep and open wounds.
Dulling the mental pain or drying my tears would be nice
to.
I'm sure there are others on the waiting list who have
been waiting longer than me but can you please up my priority
Time and if this is not possible then can you at least email
me and tell me how I can turn back your hands to anytime
before that fateful day.
